The lasting spark

Don't dread the words that say you're mine today.

I feel my heart break when in false wild hands, 

but it's a playground

so reckless, no rules.

We used to refuse a touch

when it felt cheap and too easy to seduce.

But when I see love in your eyes,

what a lasting spark! could it be a reflection?

And then it feels like we're fooled, 

when beat by beat my heart undresses in front of yours.

Saying.. I wanna be the game that keeps you up all night

Always

photo: DANCEFLOORS&MAG

The painting of Love

Mark Chagall "La Marie"

I remember the local people in the town. They all felt misearble and enjoyed a filthy sexual pleasure
to get away the blues, cuz  they thought there will be no harvest that year. Pagans.

But your heart and mine were too young and innocent,
so the world we created was a joy of the misery.

The grey sky was our long morning sheets.
The hunger was our solace of crave for each other.
The sadness was our secret of endelss love joys we hide from others.
The hundred year old trees were witnessing our passion with no remorse, and we felt like we are
the guerillas of the city that was motivated to end.

Butterflies, shut up

I ask for a moment of silence.

I ask for a moment of non-feeling, for a moment of loneliness, of coldness. 

Between the fuzz, affairs and olbigations, I ask for a moment of disappearance and staying alone. 

Of having the butterflies inside, but not loving them. Not wanting them, not feeling them, just being between them... but without them. 

Written after reading some of Imants Ziedonis work.
Photo: Butterflied shaped Nebula NGC 632

THE question

the rithm of the waved water will skip a beat again and again. and you will hear it from the deep down.

the question will look at you having million shades of light in the eyes, and you will feel only 

who am I ? Where am I going? with whom? 

Photo: from personal archive 

I met You

I was on the walk of life, where the path is lonely and quiet.
I walked the street lighten up by the moon, and I felt the night taking me home.
I walked and I walked, feeling like getting closer to you,
but the shadows of the night confused my mind.
I sat down for a while to memorize the start, but I couldn't.
Suddenly it was like having a river behind me, flowing out of me in the darkness, but
disappearing without memory. When it passed,
I was still there. The night was there, and the moon was even brighter.
I was empty. The stars were still.
I heard a voice in my head saying you should get up, catch it, don't let it slip!
So I tried to run back the old path, but it was different, and I got lost.
When I was tired of the voice in my head and the searching, I laid down near the river, and waited.
When the sun was rising, it erased the longest night I ever had.
In the light I felt like a child. The painful urge in me I couldn't find anymore. What a loss.
I stood up with the fire inside me, and walked towards the light.
The voice in my head was gone. But the wind made me feel like I am present, so I went where it took me.
I have never been happier since that night full of darkness, since I discovered my way.
I have never been happier since I will meet you.

Kāds gan mīlestībai ar to sakars

Photo from personal archive

Saldskābs satraukums un vientulības nomocītas naktis, mēs esam kopā, sirds Tava un mana sit dažādas taktis. Iet laiks un sajūtas dziļākas kļūst, kas gaist, kas spilgtāks atmiņās kļūst. Kad jāaiziet, liekas tik grūti, tik pat NEiespējami, kā palikt.. palikt kopā, vientulības pilnās naktīs, palikt divatā, kopā ar daudziem citiem, palikt vienam otram, tomēr katram pašam sev, palikt kopā - un viss. 

Zvaigžņotās debesis jau nogurst no mana acu skata, cerību pilni ābeles ziedi nobirst uz nenopļautā mauriņa. Skumji rabarberi smagi noliecas pār neravētajiem lokiem, un spilgtie tulpju kausiņi aicina piesēst un uzsmēķēt.. Gribas, lai nolīst karsts vasaras lietus un aizskalo visu nejauko projām, un saliek atpakaļ ābeles ziedus un sacep rabarbermaizi Tev no rīta no manis gultā..

Liekas, ka steiga man Tevi atņem, liekas, ka mana steiga Tev mani nozog. Liekas, ka dzīve kā filma, es to skatos, bet Tu tajā esi. Skatos apkārt, Tevis nav, visur meklēju, nekur Tevis nevaru atrast.. es sevi līdz galam iztukšoju, lai varu atkal piepildīt krāsām. Es Tevi vienu vēroju ar rudens ābolu darbiem, lai zinu, vai jautātu - kur esi Tu, kur esi Tu?

STOP THINGKING

:: Chogyam Trungpa book Meditation in Action ::

..It does not mean that you should not own anything at all or that you should give away what you have. You could have many possessions and you could even enjoy them and like having them. It isn't a question of not seeing the value of possessions, the point is that it should be equally easy to give them away. It is really a question of giving up this concept of possession. It relates not only to money and wealth but to the deep-seated feeling of wanting to possess, wanting to hold on to things, wanting things definitely to belong to you. So that is the real weakness, a kind of a habit that one tends to form through neurotic process of thoughts. We never really allow anything to happen or take place in our mind. We never allow any gap which would permit us to be free and really digest things. Therefore it becomes a continual demand, a continual process of creating and wanting to own.